Both my father and I are single and dating. Actually, he’s dating and I’m hesitantly fishing the sea from a digital boat. He doing it old school – going out to social events to meet women. It’s new school for me occasionally (ok, rarely) meeting men online.
Dad has a formula. Every Friday is wing night at the yacht club or he hits up a legion dance. Finding a woman he likes they hang out and dance. Then he calls for the first date – always lunch. If that goes well time for date #2, the “let’s go for a Sunday drive” date, which ends with him taking the woman of interest to see the house I grew up in.Makes sense, I guess. He’s proud of the beautiful property he built.
It’s a strange formula for me but Dad’s 62 and not looking for someone to build a life with. He’s looking for someone to share his. Not one for accepting change he wants someone who will fit into his life without adjustments. Dad’s told me more than once he’s looking for a companion, not someone to replace my mother who died suddenly in 2004 (leaving him with a broken heart that will never heal.) He’s looking for someone who’ll let him keep his daily rituals of crosswords and Jeopardy while providing some small talk at dinner.
For me, it’s a lot different. I’m looking for someone who’s not only good for me but good for my daughter. Someone who’s going to work with me, building the life I’m currently building. I’m searching for that better half, that soul mate, that person to share the beauties and trials of life.
Online dating seems to be great for that. But it’s scary. Profiles hang like resumes of potential partners. Instead of awkward conversations you can read for hours about men who fit your wish list and those who don’t. You peruse through smiling pictures of empty faces because, let’s face it, a face has no soul until you really know the person. Yes, you get to read what a person is like, what they’ve been through, what they want… but, if you’re like me, there’s a lingering sense of wondering. Could this guy be speaking the truth? Is he for real?
Then of course there’s the feeling of rejection when you message or send a flirt someone’s way and you get nothing. Thanks to the sites you can see if they read your email and look at your profile which means if they did and didn’t respond you can’t help thinking they didn’t like something about you. My picture? My hair? The fact I am a single mother with a toddler?
My sister swears by online dating. She found her prince this way. So I guess it’s worth a try. Considering I have no social life and don’t often get out of the house without my daughter, online dating is pretty much the only option I have.
Here I go… digital boat fishing is commencing. Both feet in this time.