I was proud of myself. We’d been shopping for 3 hours by now, through downtown Halifax, me in heels, when Davis finally gave in to her tired and asked to be carried. Hoisting her up on my shoulders I took a look at the hill ahead of me and assessed my estimated time of arrival versus pain in my feet. Deciding I would do my best and plow through, I made it all the way back to the car with her on my shoulders… not completely by choice as she threatened to cry when I tried to get her to walk. But I did make it.
Taking her off my shoulder I felt exhilarated. I did it. I carried her all the way back to the car, on my shoulders, in heels. “Wasn’t that fun?” I asked my little angel who nodded in agreement. Then without thinking, these words came out of my mouth:
“Who needs a Daddy?”
Obviously, her very quick response was:
“I need a Daddy.”
Rather matter-of-factly my little angel told me the truth. She wants a Daddy. I say “want” instead of need. I know she isn’t lacking in love, life or anything that she actually “needs.” So her “needs” a Daddy is really a “want.” And who wouldn’t? Daddies are fun. Daddies are rough and throw you around (although I would like to point out I do my fair share of throwing and getting jumped on is a daily occurance.) To Davis, Daddies are these mysterious men who live with some kids and have a role something like Mommies. Of course she wants a Daddy.
What I flippantly said wasn’t really meant for her although I did say it out loud. It was more of an ongoing inner monologue. Yippee, I did it. Like I say to myself every time I finish a chore that is normally “the man’s” job. After 3 hours of shoveling the drive way I said, “Who needs a Daddy?” Every time I drive home and see my nice lawn and clipped trees I proclaim, “Who needs a Daddy?” And each week that work wipes me out because there was so much to do and little time, in exhaustion I tell myself, “Who needs a Daddy?” It’s my reminder that I can do it on my own.
Yes, there are things that a Daddy can give his little girl that a Mommy can’t. But do I think Davis is lacking because of this? Right now, no. Single parent households can be just as cultivating a garden for a child to grow as the dual parent home. You see that all over the place and I believe Davis is growing quite wonderfully. Others will attest to it as well. Constantly, Davis is praised by people (strangers included) for her intelligence, vocabulary and behaviour. More importantly she seems genuinely happy and that’s essential.
Based on her response, Davis Grace Sophia isn’t going to be in need of therapy due to my loose tongue, although if it comes up later I’ll admit I’m wrong. But she has reminded me what comes out of the mouth isn’t always what is meant. It’s especially true with children who have a different understanding of the world than we adults do. That’s something I need to remember… and from this point forth to do so solemnly vow to watch my P’s and Q’s.