Well, it’s that time of year again. One year says good-bye and the next peaks it’s head around the corner to remind you that time doesn’t stop. It keeps going and going, passing you by as you wonder how it’s sped by so quickly.
With each year comes the tradition of making resolutions and although many shun them I think they are pretty much inevitable. I bet hardly anyone goes through December without thinking about what happened in the months previous. Even if it’s the slightly thought about it most people do. For me, it always becomes a huge time of reflection and worry. Worry because usually things aren’t where I wanted them to be by this time and that results in stress, sleepless nights, too much booze, not enough veggies…. just generally unhealthy behaviour.
Thus, resolutions for me this year aren’t going to be the usual “must lose this much weight” or “will make this much money” as they have been in the past. They’re going to be slightly more vague but still focused. And I’m taking the stress off of giving them a deadline. This year’s reflection led me to the conclusion that although I may not have accomplished my resolutions to the fullest I did move forward towards fulfilling that resolution – even if I had forgotten about that resolution by February. So I’m looking at my resolutions as works in progress. Daily I will work on them and daily I will take baby steps towards success. Just the mere fact I worked on bettering myself, my life and my daughter’s life is success enough and that is what the resolution is all about.
What are my resolutions?
1) Structure: We need more structure in our lives. Definitive structure where Davis’ little body clock sets off an alarm letting her know this is the time we do this. Especially bedtime (I have a love / hate relationship with bedtime, you could say we’re frenemies.) Both Davis and I are free-spirited beings and we need structure, some sort of loose schedule since too tight a schedule and I snap. Me, being the parent, need to instill the benefit of structure and schedule in my child who is learning by my example. The afore mentioned bedtime, as well as bath, teeth brushing, tidying the house, meals and play all have a definitely place in the successful existence of our species and in our house I need it so that I can get some “me” time.
2) Declutter: This is an ongoing process in my life. Been going on for years and now I feel like I’m kinda getting to the peak of the mountain. This is one of those places where I have to give myself credit. Throughout last year I did a good job of decluttering the physical stuff I have accumulated over the year and my travels. Not all of it but a lot and I’m making use of the stuff I’m keeping. My heart broke but I did get rid of pretty much all of my old cassette tapes *sob* including DJ sets recorded live at gigs… I HAD to… I have no cassette player *weeps.* This year it’s more about the emotional clutter and the financial clutter. Sadly, I suck at accounting and dealing with finances mainly because I’m broke and I’d rather not deal with it than getting depressed by how much my finances suck. So I resolve to say goodbye baggage, hello clear thoughts and face my money issues head on.
3) Exhaustion: Perhaps this seems odd as a resolution but I can’t understand why I am so damn tired all the time. Why? It’s not just a regular tired it’s a full-on exhaustion that sometimes brings me to my knees, or more correctly prostrate on the sofa while Davis plays around me. What needs to be changed in my daily life so that I can keep my energy at a constant, stable, productive level? That’s the question that needs to be addressed this year.
4) Pain: Another very unusual resolution to some but like exhaustion I can’t understand why my body is in such pain. I’m not that old and I’m active. My joints should not seize up or hurt the way they do. It’s annoying. For me, I know the answer is yoga. I studied yoga in India, got my teacher’s training certificate, so there is no excuse for me to not be using the knowledge I have. So perhaps my resolution is do more yoga but I feel like dealing with the pain sounds more dramatic and I like dramatic. (NOT to be confused with drama.)
5) Finances: Yet again, the ongoing saga of finances is plaguing me and this year I vow to get them in check so I can be constantly paying on my debt. Paying on is the key word here – not pay off since there’s no hope in hell I’d be able to pay off all my bad debt in one year (good debt I’m happy to have.) All I want to do is be able to see the debt slowly moving down instead of just being able to pay the interest. And I want to be able to start saving some money too. Living pay cheque to pay cheque just sucks and at this stage of my life it needs to change.
(side note about finances: getting my finances in check is essentially because it’s become very clean I can no longer live in this financial state. thus, i vow to do whatever it takes to get it in check before the end of 2012.)
You know, I could sit here and make a list of all the other things I would love to resolve to do in 2012 but it’s redundant. For the most part they all fit into the above in some way and by keeping the list to five I’m hoping to remember them past March. Focusing on them is sure to lead me down the path I’m hoping to go… at least that’s what I’m telling myself.