Do I really want to continue down this path of dating?
I mean, it takes up so much time. So much time getting to know someone, a new friend who could be a potential suitor, and trying to find the hours to do this is near impossible. For the first time since becoming a mom I’m having a bit of a social life, thanks to this dating thing. A real social life where I make plans to do things not work or domestic duties related and quite frankly it’s exhausting.
It’s not like I’m going out all the time just trying to schedule one meeting a week with a possible Prince Charming (and find the babysitter) but it’s enough to make me realize why people stop having a social life when they have kids. Being a parent is a busy job. It’s just easier to stay home and do what has to be done so I find myself wondering if I really want to add more to this never-ending list of things I need and want to do?
Do I want to have these dates with strangers? These meetings that bring me out of my house and away from my kid? If I indulge my dating social life on week nights my housework suffers (and if I’m being honest I suck at housework these days). Weekend dating encounters means I miss time with Princess D and there’s nothing else I want to do but hang out with my toddler on the weekend.
On the other side, I won’t meet people if I don’t do this dating thing. Believe it or not, you can make friends online dating – as long as both of you are mature adults and can accept a new friendship. This is partly the reason why I chat with 20-somethings that seem cool. Until they make it awkward then I remind them of the no sex with 20-year old rules and cut them off. Most of them have been cut off. But there are a few who are still casual friends and I’ve made other great friends via online dating. In fact, all the friends I have right now with the exception of my Single Mommy Friend I’ve met online.
But the question still remains… Is this dating thing really worth it? Or am I simply being scared of what I may actually find out there? Has Blahblah broke the last straw so I can’t be bothered anymore or have I become so used to being in control of everything that deep down I just don’t want another person to be added to this mix? Or am I just being a pussy footed dick who needs to shut up with the worrying and just go for it?
Or is it that I’m right and it’s just not the time for me to be devoting time into the dating world. There’s so many other things I’d rather do with my nights away from toddler than meet with someone I may or may not have good conversation with. I’d rather be doing yoga, planning retreats at the Annfield Manor or playing with my kid. Yes, there’s the argument a person has needs. Of course they do. But let’s just say, a girl can always have fun when fun is what is needed.
Alas, I am balanced on this fence between these two pastures and that’s where I’ll sit for the moment. However, Princess D continues to push me to the side where she has a Daddy now. Any Daddy “who is kind and loves a lot of people especially his family” will do. I wish, Princess D, it could be that easy.
Any insight? I’d love to hear it.