With my last profile on Plenty of Fish, I made it very clear I was interested in making friends and only friends. While I did realize for some this is code for “let’s get down and dirty when I’m in town” I politely declined these offers and for those who persisted I not so politely told those mofos they were barking up the wrong tree.
So when I decided to take my profile down, because of another go at it with BlahBlah (which seems to have gone nowhere), there were a few men I told to find me on Facebook so we could still chat as friends.
One guy set up a Facebook page to find me then told me he was never on there because he finds it a waste of time and asked for my number. It was 5:30a.m. when I got this message, I was newly up and perhaps not thinking clearly because doggoneit I gave this stranger my number.
What proceeded was a ridiculous amount of text messages, followed by a 6:30a.m. phone call interrupting my yoga practice, then more texts through the morning until I got the, “What were you on POF for?” Yes, the inevitable question… and a stupid one at that. Ummm… to meet people, dolt.
“For friends.” I wrote back.
“Me too,” he replies then proceeded to ask me out on a date. A DATE. Ummm… since when do you ask your friends out on dates? It’s like those guys that say, cool we can be friends sweetie… how many times do you call your buddies sweetie? Seriously though.
I said, “Ummm… maybe.” I was at work, live on air and totally thrown off by not only the question but the constant messaging. Later I told him no, I only want friends so hanging out would be cool but that’s it.
Periodically I still get messages from this guy and the odd phone call and he continues to ask me out on dates although I keep saying I’m interested in friends first. Especially now as I don’t think I can go through any more heartache and the mom in me wants to protect her daughter from the same. This guy isn’t into hanging first to see what goes on.. it has to be a date which implies romance and all the expectations that come with it.
It all makes me wonder, when men and women meet as adults, is it possible to just be friends? Is it inevitable that the attraction to the other person is going to be equated into a sexual one since we are now adults and everyone is having sex? When you’re a teen it’s not the norm for everyone to be screwing so frankly it’s easier for a guy and a girl to be friends based on the fact that they have similar likes and dislikes.
I like friends. I was that girl in high school who hung out with guys more than girls mainly because there was no drama with the guys. Just skateboarding videos. Why can’t I just be friends with men now that I’m an adult? Come to think of it, when I was living in Toronto I had a lot of male friends. But not now, back in Cape Breton, a much smaller island.
I would like to think you can be friends with members of the opposite sex… even as adults. And perhaps those men who can’t see this shouldn’t be my friend. (They could fall into my base level male theory which I’ll leave for another post.) But what do you think?
Can men and women meet as adults and just be friends?
It might be a mystery left unsolved in our lifetime….