I can’t remember the last time I sat and sipped my coffee on a Sunday morning in silence. This morning I am doing just that. Right now there’s no music blaring in another room, no 5-year old singing or yelling at me to do something for her. Nothing. Not even a cat trying to jump on my lap because I have banished them all outside. There is nothing but the calm of a Sunday morning silence. And I am ecstatic… and feeling slightly shell shocked.
It happened yesterday – both of my kids left and aren’t coming back until later today. At first I was excited when I knew this was going to happen and I thought let’s make plans. Tried to make plans, no one to make plans with for anything that would be worthy of a house with no kids let’s be crazy. Then I went through my “oh poor me, no one to do naughty things with” things, feeling sorry for myself as I walked through my empty house thinking I should clean. So I cleaned the kitchen and the dining room and then thought, “Screw it. I can leave the rest until tomorrow because I won’t have to clean the kitchen again because there are no kids here to destroy it.” And then all poor me left and happy to be alone set in.
Yes, I took the time to enjoy being alone. No one yelling at me to get them something. No on stealing the shower or my hair straightener when I needed it. No one I had to get rushed out the door so I could get where I was going. I went to be in my bed without a 5-year old sneaking in and pushing me to the side. And for a change, I woke up this morning with no pain in my shoulder or back from having to sleep on the side of the bed unable to move because a sweet 5-year old is pushing you off while telling you, half asleep, they need more snuggles. I woke up at 9a.m. with a smile on my face because I feel rested. And now I am sitting sipping my coffee, enjoying the silence only a Sunday morning can bring, fighting the urge to run out right away to collect my 5-year old, because when she gets back the silence will be gone and Mommy won’t be able to do things at her pace anymore.
And I don’t mind that. I love that. But I have realized that these days more than going out or having someone to be naughty with the sound of silence is what Mommy misses most. And I am going to enjoy every sip of this coffee and see if I can find ways to sneak more moments of silence into my weeks.